[Thursday Night Movie Theater right after these messages!!]
Men, don't give up!
[Will our savior come to this dying planet?]
It...
suddenly appeared beneath our feet...
What were they? Were they living creatures? Were they man-made?
Or was it something else entirely?
Before we could find out...
half of us were wiped out.
It split and multiplied at an incredible rate.
It instantly covered the world. By the time we figured out what it was...
The planet was no longer ours.
The only thing we learned...
was that it was neither alive nor man-made. It was "Despair" itself.
We were on the brink of annihilation.
So this is the place.
Do you think The Savior will come?
If he doesn't come, we'll be destroyed.
Not just the planet, but us too.
Come on. There are humans still living underground.
They've given up fighting and left the surface to "it."
They're just trembling in the dark soil.
Just like rotting corpses in a cemetery.
Captain, that's cruel.
Are you saying that women and children should fight monsters?
It destroyed the Royal Armed Forces in just twelve hours.
It hasn't been destroyed. You and I are still here.
Everyone fights the enemies that suit them.
Even women and children have things they can do. We do, too.
Like remain on the surface and partake in guerrilla warfare?
We won't be able to keep that up. I hope our savior gets here quickly.
I'm not sure if he's the legendary space-traveling janitor, or the strongest alien buster...
But I doubt he has the power to determine the fate of a country by himself.
Even if that legendary savior did exist...
The nation and the army have already collapsed.
Do you think such a person would come to the aid of two volunteer soldiers who can't offer any reward?
If he doesn't come, you and I will just die.
Captain, if I die, my wife and children underground will die, too.
They'll get insurance, right?
I won't ever commit suicide with you.
Captain, it's here!
It isn't the savior. It's a welcoming party.
Oh well. I'll distract them.
Women and children should leave...
and clean up the underground.
Ivanov...
I said I had no intention of committing suicide with you, captain.
No way!
A superior officer's orders are absolute. I won't let you die without my permission!
We don't have any superior officers, let alone an army!
Even if I'm crushed by despair, we must never forget...
Where there is light, there are shadows and where there are shadows, there is light.
No matter how dark the despair, there is...
...hope shining bright!
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Are you the volunteer army that called me?
Our planet, which has long been trapped in darkness...
Oh, sorry. I haven't introduced myself.
...has finally seen the dazzling light of dawn...
My name is...
Umibozu.
What's wrong? Is there something on my face?
No.
It's nothing...
A toupee.
Umibozu is wearing a toupee.
Ivanov, don't stare at it like that.
Act like you don't notice it. Pretend you don't know.
The fate of our planet depends on this man.
Well... But captain... That...
It's totally obvious... It's even sliding off...
There's just nylon on his head.
Ivanov, hold it in. You saw his strength, right?
That man...
is our only hope.
Even if he's wearing a toupee, he's invincible.
It's all over if we embarrass him and he leaves.
O-Okay. It's all right. I can do this...
This mission is way easier than that Apache landing operation five years ago.
W-We've been waiting for you, Umibozu-san.
I never thought I'd get to meet a living legend.
We never thought you'd really come. I'm grateful for your help.
I'm Kai.
This is Ivanov. Pleased to meet you.
I never expected this country to change so much in just three years.
What in the world happened?
What made your head change so much?
Three years ago, a giant black sphere erupted from the ground.
[Note: A similar plot device was used in the anime Space Pirate Captain Harlock.]
Countless spheres grew from it and it rapidly covered the surface of the world.
Half of this country's population has fallen victim to it.
Our army desperately fought it,
but after a bald battle, we were almost completely wiped out.
Huh? Bald?
Huh? B...No, I said, "bold battle." You're mistaken. No, no, no.
You're mistaken. It's not like that.
Huh? If it's not, then what is it?
I told you, I said "bold," not "bald"...
Hey! This time, you said "bald." You called me bald just now.
No, no, no. I didn't do that.
Well, I don't mind. I'm not bald... I have a head full of hair...
I don't mind, but people who are bald don't like bad jokes like that.
Apologize to all the bald people in the country.
He's so sensitive. This man's feelings are like glass.
I've got to be careful about words that sound like "bald."
I-I'm very sorry...
Why?! If he's so sensitive, why does he wear such a bad toupee?!
It's a bit odd for you to apologize to me.
I have a head full of hair.
Well, that's fine. Anyway, there's no point in arguing, so let's get going.
Are we riding in this?
I wonder if it's going to rain tomorrow...
I hate that... I have nowhere to hang my laundry...
He totally stepped into that one! We didn't see it. We didn't see anything.
I wonder if it's all right now.
We should give him time to put it on properly.
Then we won't have to worry about how bad it looks.
Let's wait a little longer.
Why does it look even more unnatural after he fixed it?
What's the meaning of this? What was he thinking?
What kind of hair style is he after?!
No, this is definitely weird!! I can't look directly at him anymore.
His toupee has lost all purpose!! It's obvious he's bald now!!
Captain, are we going to take him like this?
This is bad.
This is really bad.
Everyone, listen up!!
Why not put an end to living like moles in this filthy shelter?!
"It" has taken the surface from us, and we've lived for three years in humiliation!
The time to rally together is now!!
Our volunteer army has managed to summon the help of an invincible hero.
We've got the heroic living legend Umibozu!!
Tsk! Kai's blabbering off her speeches again.
There's no way that Umibozu would come here.
Who's that man with the strange head? Where did you get that faker?
Whose head are you calling fake?!
They didn't say that!! No one said that!! Captain, stop him!!
With his help, we can be victorious!!
Everyone, please, let's work together!
The surface... This planet...
We will defend it ourselves!!
Mom, you're only carrying sis...that's not fair.
Bare?! Whose head is bare?!
I told you, you're hearing things!!
It's a toupee!! He's wearing a toupee!!
What kind of hero wears a toupee?! Come up with a better story!!
Everyone, wait!! Listen to what I have to say!!
Everyone!
Everyone!!
Sorry.
We embarrassed you...
We didn't mean it. Please forgive us.
Are you leaving?
You're done, right? Sorry I wasn't a good lure.
Of course, it was better for you if you didn't lure anyone.
You knocked my toupee off on purpose, didn't you?
Oh, you noticed. I underestimated you.
Now, my captain will calm down a bit.
She should give up any ideas of saving the planet from that monster.
This planet will be destroyed no matter what we do.
You're all talk. You don't even struggle.
It's useless to struggle.
If you want to see why, go to the surface and crush that giant bowling ball
my captain hates so much.
If you do that, this planet will still end.
It's the planet itself.
Our enemy is the very planet we're standing on.
Even if we defeated it, this planet will be destroyed.
It's the Atlas control system. It's the life of this planet.
Is this a man-made planet?
No... There's a control system at its core.
This planet was originally unlivable.
Clean air, rich soil, and clean water were all made possible because of Atlas.
Atlas is a purification system that maintains this planet's environment.
It cultivated things that were good for the planet and eliminated things that were bad.
But Atlas maintained the planet's balance for only a short while.
The population increased, resources were used up,
and the life of the planet was turned into money.
The land soon became barren, the sky became stagnate,
and the planet became a world of sand.
You know why Atlas revolted against humans, right?
It sees humans as a harmful threat to the planet.
It considers us as enemies.
Our devastated military said that it was a mysterious invader
made of an unknown material... But there were those who knew.
We'll be wiped out if we don't do anything.
But even if we fight Atlas and destroy it, this planet will still be wiped out.
Our only path is the path to extinction.
That's why no one wants to fight.
Even if we did, it wouldn't change anything.
No, even if they did fight Atlas, there's probably no way they could destroy it.
So they've chosen to slowly rot here rather than be wiped out in battle.
Aside from that girl...
My captain has no intention of perishing. She still hasn't given up hope.
She'll probably fight even if she's alone.
I can't keep this up any longer.
I was helping her with guerrilla attacks to defend the shelter...
But what can I gain by fighting? This planet is no good. I can't live here anymore.
Even if we win, we'll only perish.
What is my captain fighting for?
It's an enemy attack!
It's here!
It's finally discovered the shelter!!
It's over!! We're finally finished!!
It's Kai!
Kai is retaliating by herself!
What are you doing?
Why aren't you going to help her?
Don't you know what she's fighting to defend?
It's hopeless... Even if we fight...
It looks like it's not just the planet that's already finished. It's you.
Tsk!
Captain, hold on!!
The seedling...
Is the seedling all right?
She was...
Growing a seedling in such a dry land...
That's...
It's a rescue convoy!
Yeah! They've finally come for us!
They said we're the only ones on this planet! They said they'll let all of us get on!!
All right!! We're saved!!
We can finally say goodbye to this planet!!
I'm not going.
C-Captain, what are you saying?
I said that I'm going to stay on this planet and fight until the end.
What's the point of fighting any longer?
You should already know. This planet is no good.
It's all dried up. Grass and trees won't grow.
Furthermore, Atlas has gone haywire.
We can't live on this planet anymore!!
What good will come of running away?
Are you going to ruin the next planet you run away and escape to?
Are you going to keep on repeating that?
If the land is dry, we can pour water.
If flowers don't bloom, we can plant seeds.
We've been relying too much on Atlas.
Did we ever think of doing something about the planet ourselves?
Have we ever fought to protect this planet?
I don't understand large-scale things like planets.
But I have a wife and children to protect.
I have to live even if I have to discard my planet.
I cannot commit suicide with you and this planet.
Farewell, captain.
You're all alone now.
It's all right.
Everyone is fighting their own battles. He's just headed to his.
Where are you fighting?
You're continuing to fight an enemy that will destroy the planet if you defeat it.
You won't even quit when everyone is gone from the planet.
What are you fighting for?
We've bound this planet with the chains called Atlas and treated it poorly.
Even if it's of no use anymore,
we can't just fling it into a corner of space chained up.
Someone has to release this planet from the curse of Atlas.
Even if it leads to its destruction?
It won't be destroyed.
If we support this planet in place of Atlas, seedlings are sure to grow...
In this dry land.
In other words, you don't give up easily?
I just hate to lose. I don't want to run away from battle.
I think the meaning of living is to fight.
If you turn your back on your battles, you're just as good as dead.
I want to be a good person until the end.
Even if the planet is destroyed tomorrow, I will not forfeit my honor.
I will be noble and beautiful until the end. I will do what I think is right.
I will not lose to myself, even in the end.
You're just like her.
My daughter. Or perhaps them...
Sorry, captain.
I don't want you to die.
Don't worry. You're already more than beautiful enough.
You can be my witness.
Thanks...
Take her away.
Umibozu-san, what about you?
Huh?
I'm going to get my toupee.
Kagura-chan, something's changed in your father.
I've opened a strange door that I would've never opened before.
Something's happened ever since I went to earth.
Your father... Your father...
Is going to crush a planet...
for the sake of a woman!!
I'm one hip, bad daddy!
[Note: The term he uses, "Choiwaru Oyaji" is a fashion term used to describe "hip" middle-aged men.]
Keep this a secret from your mother!!
What happened?
In just three months...
It has to be him.
He couldn't have done it by himself...
He destroyed a planet for the sake of a woman.
No... He probably has his own battles.
And, look.
It's not destroyed.
It's still alive.
Even if you're crushed by despair...
You must never forget that where there is light,
there are shadows and where there are shadows, there is light.
No matter how dark the despair, there is hope shining bright!
Men, don't give up!!
No matter how barren you are, you'll grow hair.
A hair restorer for men who don't give up the fight!! Atlas Neo!
[Atlas Neo]
[Iyokan Extract] [(Moisturizer)]
[Tangerine Extract] [(Moisturizer)]
[Carrot Extract] [(Moisturizer)]
[Swertica Japonica Extract] [(Improves Blood Circulation)]
[Dipotassium Glycyrrhizate] [(Anti-inflammatory)]
It's a purifying hair restorer that sends nutrients to your hair roots and removes excess oils.
Atlas Neo!!
[Atlas Neo]
Say goodbye to toupees!
[A present for everyone!]
If you order now, you'll get a cell phone strap of the legendary hunter Umibozu's favorite umbrella!
Men, don't give up!!
[Odd Jobs Gin]
How long is this commercial?!
You've got to be kidding!
A thirty minute hair restorer commercial?!
And why is this baldy in a commercial?! Give us back our screen time!
Men, don't give up!
- You're being a pest! Give up already!! - You're being a pest! Give up already!!
[Preview]
I was quite famous long ago. I traveled to all the galaxies.
You liar. You're exaggerating, aren't you?
The next episode... "Exaggerate the Tales of Your Exploits by a Third, so Everyone Has a Good Time."
[In the other half, Kagura becomes a mini Gin-san?! "Men Have a Weakness for Girls Who Sell Flowers and Work in Pastry Shops"]
[Lately, I've been really lucky, so I went to a purification with everyone.]